Summer’s Shift: Holding Ourselves in the Season of Stretch

Voice and Verse Journaling Group

The season turns again.

The school term winds down, the air gets heavy with heat, and the long, unstructured stretch of summer begins to show itself on the horizon. For many, summer brings with it a sense of freedom and fun. But for mothers—particularly those already carrying the weight of emotional and mental labour—it can feel like a season of overwhelm.

Because summer with children isn’t always light and easy.It can be loud. Chaotic. Unrelenting. Even in its beauty, it can stretch us thin.

Like all seasonal shifts, summer invites a kind of reckoning. The reliable rhythms of the week dissolve, and we’re left to navigate a looser, more unpredictable landscape. Transitions—even anticipated ones—can feel destabilising. We’re often juggling others’ needs, managing invisible logistics, and shouldering the pressure to “make memories” even when we’re running on empty.

There’s also the internal pressure. That voice that says we should be grateful. That we should love this. That we should be soaking it all in.

But sometimes, it’s not blissful. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s all of it at once.

In these stretched seasons, we need ways to steady ourselves—something to lean into when the noise rises or the exhaustion peaks.

Creativity can be one of those supports.

Not as a solution or another task to complete—but as a way to gently meet ourselves in the moment. A way of noticing what we’re carrying and giving it some space to breathe.

That might look like scribbling a few lines in a journal before bed. Humming while you tidy up. Noticing the colours outside your window. Letting yourself play with language, rhythm, texture. Even ten minutes of self-expression can offer a soft landing—a moment to exhale.

Creativity can help us reconnect to ourselves, especially when we feel most lost in the role of caring for others. It reminds us that we are more than the sum of our to-do lists.

We are still here. We are still whole.

The external brightness of summer can sometimes contrast with our inner states—especially if we're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected. Creativity allows us to bring those inner states into the light, gently and without judgment. It helps us say: This is what’s real for me right now. And in doing so, we step out of the impossible ideals and into authentic connection—with ourselves, our children, and the present moment.

So this summer, let creativity be your shade when the heat rises, your soft landing on the hard days, and your quiet celebration of all the things you're holding and managing, even when no one sees it.

You're doing more than enough.

Want a gentle, creative space to reflect and reset this summer? I’d love to welcome you to something special this June; a relaxed afternoon to leave the kids behind while you join other like-minded women in a gentle exploration of motherhood and city life—through group singing and creative journalling. You don’t need any experience, just a willingness to show up as you are.

Together, we’ll pause. Reflect. And make a little space to breathe, express and connect.

Even as the days grow longer, you don’t have to stretch yourself thin.There is time for you, too.

It’s a nurturing, non-judgmental space to write, make, and share. Get in touch if you’d like to join us

https://www.happity.co.uk/schedules/singing-mamas-crystal-palace-kin-wellbeing-studio-voice-and-verse-a-creative-retreat-for-busy-mums#

Anxiety in Pregnancy and Beyond: Harnessing Creativity for Coping and Connection

Having a baby can be one of the most wonderful things, a time of immense joy and happiness, but it can also but bring with it a lot of stress and anxiety. From the overwhelming physical changes that come with pregnancy to the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood, the transition mothers go through cannot be understated.***

As an art therapist, and a mother myself, I have experienced firsthand the challenges that pregnant women and new mums face; including a sense of loss; a loss of control over our lives, time, body and relationships, a loss of our former identity and potentially a loss in our social standing connected to career. It comes with overwhelming hormonal changes which create challenges to mood and emotional wellbeing. We also re-experience aspects of our own childhoods as we parent which can be both triggering and painful.

Added to which are the societal pressures on mothers to meet impossible standards. A deeply ingrained aspect of society’s patriarchal ideal of motherhood is our unquestioning and constant prioritising of our children's needs above our own. Expectant mothers are positioned as “glowing” with joy at the prospect of creating new life, and it is presumed that pregnancy and impending motherhood will give our lives “greater purpose and significance”. There is no room to question, or doubt. We are not allowed space to explore the darker, negative feelings we might have towards our new identities as mothers, and so society’s expectations can lead to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and overwhelm.

These pressures have, I believe, been internalised by women so that our own expectations of pregnancy and motherhood push us further into silence and isolation when things don’t measure up to the idealised dream of motherhood. We believe there is something shameful in any negative feeling we might have towards our bump or baby, being so at odds with how we are “meant to” feel. Many women find themselves alone with their thoughts and feelings, unable to express themselves in a way that feels safe and supportive.

Is it any wonder then that 20% of women are likely to experience a mental health problem during pregnancy or in the first year following birth?!

What is Perinatal anxiety?

Anxiety is a natural response to feeling unsafe or threatened. When we perceive threat, a neurological and physiological chain reaction occurs which activates our sympathetic nervous system; our fight or flight response. The threat only needs to be perceived and not real for this to be triggered.

During the perinatal period (pregnancy until up to a year post-partum), anxiety can be particularly challenging because of the many changes and uncertainties that women go through, often during a time of little or no sleep and heightened hormones. Anxiety works as a negative feedback loop with 3 things happening at once: a trigger or environmental cue, physical reactivity and mental reactivity. For example, a baby's cries can act as a trigger for a new mum. This can lead to physical reactions like rapid breathing and tensed muscles. In a heightened state, negative thoughts can begin to overrun her; “Why can’t I soothe my baby? I must be a bad mother”. These thoughts diminish her ability to think clearly and problem-solve and interfere with her ability to focus on finding effective ways to soothe her baby. Instead, her anxious state makes her feel overwhelmed and helpless, amplifying the negative thoughts and reinforcing the belief that she is inadequate as a mother.

So we can see how the negative feedback loop can create a cycle where anxiety triggers more anxiety, leading to worsening symptoms, further fueling negative thoughts and leaving mums and mums to be feeling trapped, overwhelmed and isolated.

There are ways we can break out of this loop.

Breaking out of the loop

Activating the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for the "rest and digest" response in the body, is one way to do that.

Breath can be a powerful tool to help break out of the negative feedback loop of anxiety. When anxiety triggers physical reactivity, focusing on the breath can help regulate the body's stress response and activate the body's relaxation response, slowing down the heart rate and reducing muscle tension. It also serves as a focal point, redirecting the mind away from anxious thoughts and bringing it into the present moment. By consciously slowing down and deepening the breath, our body also receives more oxygen, which can support clearer thinking and decision-making. It provides a brief pause in the cycle of anxiety, allowing us to gain perspective, challenge negative thoughts, and consider alternatives.

The thing is, breathing can be hard, despite or maybe because is it so automatic. One slightly more creative approach to breathe that can be effective is called rectangular breathing - where you draw in your mind a short side of the rectangle with your inhale, and the long side with your exhale. It can help to imagine the texture and colour of the rectangle; or emptying the rectangle of a colour to let go of (I imagine a toxic green) and I filling it in with another one (I fill myself up with a warm pink!)

Make the beast beautiful

An important thing to say about anxiety is that it is a way of keeping ourselves safe. Somewhere inside us, that anxious part thinks it is helping, and so it can be useful to acknowledge our anxiety; to thank it, even, for trying to keep us safe. Sarah Wilson’s excellent book says it perfectly in her title “First, we make the beast beautiful.” If we can begin to see our anxiety as a friend, not a terrifying enemy we need to battle, then we can find less anxiety-provoking ways of coping with it.

I have worked with clients to imagine their anxiety as a character - maybe it’s a dragon, or a formless oppressive blob. I might invite someone to imagine into it, what colour is it, does it have a name? Relating to it in this way can be a really powerful way of taking some kind of ownership and control back.

Creativity as a way of coping with anxiety

Another way of gaining some distance from our anxiety is through creative journaling. Journaling is well-known for its positive benefits on mental health and wellbeing. It also plays a big part in the history of women's creativity.

It is a way to allow our anxious thoughts all out on to the paper; which disarms the fear driving the thoughts and creates much needed distance. Reading back and reflecting on what we have written also encourages our “observing eye” to develop.

Journaling can be a place to put down all fears, feelings, grief, hopes - without having to hide or cover up or pretend. It can be incredibly freeing. It doesn’t have to just be writing, and can include scribbles, doodles, drawing, painting, collage, or poetry.

By engaging in creative activities, we can explore our emotions and express ourselves in new ways. We can start to let go of the unrealistic expectations placed on us by a patriarchal society and embrace our imperfections. We can learn to accept ourselves for who we are and find joy in the process of creating, rather than the outcome.

An incredible resource for this is the Maternal Journal movement. The website shares creative tools and techniques to specifically support the huge changes, joys and challenges we go through in pregnancy, birth and parenthood. The groups are an amazing source of social support, as women can connect with others who are going through similar experiences and share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns in a safe and supportive environment.

I run Maternal Journal groups for mums-to-be and new mums and find that creating alongside others in a non-judgmental space provides an incredible sense of support and community. This can help to reduce feelings of isolation and anxiety and increase a sense of connection and community. (I will be running my next Maternal Journal Group in South East London in September, if you’re interested - get in touch!).

Final thoughts

Remember, you are not alone in your anxieties. Reach out, engage in self-reflection, and gradually open up to others. This transition is significant, and it's essential to acknowledge that you deserve support and a safe space to explore your emotions fully. While seeking help may feel overwhelming or even impossible at times, taking small steps towards self-reflection and initiating conversations with yourself can be a powerful starting point. Embracing our innate creativity, (we are mothers after all, arguably the most creative job there is!), can help us release our fears, let go of expectations and start feeling confident in our own abilities as mothers, as women, as human beings, making a real and valuable contribution to the world!

*** It is crucial to recognise that the journey of pregnancy and parenthood is not exclusive to cisgender women, and in fact encompasses a diverse range of gender identities, including trans and non-binary parents. This article is based on my experience as and working with cis-gendered women and as such uses gendered language.***